Anchored

In one of his books on marriage, Douglas Wilson writes,

When men fall away from the Lord, they do so for all kinds of reasons–money, career, a woman, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. But when women fall away from the Lord, invariably there is a man involved” (Her Hand in Marriage, p. 75).

I would add my own observation to this: when a husband wrecks his marriage for another woman, there is greater hope for the marriage to be restored than if the wife wrecks her marriage for another man. Here why I think this is so: men typically stray for something physical, while women typically stray for something relational. It’s much easier to undo the physical than the relational. I’ve seen many marriages restored after the husband strays; I’ve seen very few marriages restored after the wife strays.

I recently read an article on sex addiction in which the author conceded that there is not much research or literature on the subject. Fortunately, the Bible is not silent on the subject; additionally, there is beginning to be a trickle of research on this, and some of it from a Christian perspective. A newly released book by William Struthers, entitled, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain, looks like a good resource to follow up on.

Al Mohler has a quick review of the book, in which he writes,

“The simplest explanation for why men view pornography (or solicit prostitutes) is that they are driven to seek out sexual intimacy,” he explains. The urge for sexual intimacy is God-given and essential to the male, he acknowledges, but it is easily misdirected. Men are tempted to seek “a shortcut to sexual pleasure via pornography” and now find this shortcut easily accessed.

In a fallen world, pornography becomes more than a distraction and a distortion of God’s intention for human sexuality. It comes as an addictive poison.

Struthers explains:

Viewing pornography is not an emotionally or physiologically neutral experience. It is fundamentally different from looking at black and white photos of the Lincoln Memorial or taking in a color map of the provinces of Canada. Men are reflexively drawn to the content of pornographic material. As such, pornography has wide-reaching effects to energize a man toward intimacy. It is not a neutral stimulus. It draws us in. Porn is vicarious and voyeuristic at its core, but it is also something more. Porn is a whispered promise. It promises more sex, better sex, endless sex, sex on demand, more intense orgasms, experiences of transcendence.

Pornography “acts as a polydrug,” Struthers explains. As Dr. Patrick Carnes asserts, pornography is “a pathological relationship with a mood-altering experience.” Boredom and curiosity lead many boys and men into experiences that become more like drug addiction than is often admitted.

Why men rather than women? As Struthers explains, the male and female brains are wired differently. “A man’s brain is a sexual mosaic influenced by hormone levels in the womb and in puberty and molded by his psychological experience.” Over time, exposure to pornography takes a man or boy deeper along “a one-way neurological superhighway where a man’s mental life is over-sexualized and narrowed. This superhighway has countless on-ramps but very few off-ramps.

You can read all of Mohler’s comments here, and you can find the book here.

My family and I are taking a few minutes most mornings to read some Scripture before we all head out the door. (We read the designated passages individually, but then spend a few more minutes discussing it together and praying over it.) It’s part of an effort to do what we can to keep ourselves oriented in a Godward direction rather than lapsing into the natural orientation of centering life around our individual selves.

This morning my two sons read Matthew 4. My wife and I also read Matthew 4, but also read Genesis 4 and Psalm 4. After reading about Jesus’ temptation (which he successfully resisted) in Matthew 4, and then noticing how Jesus went on to call two sets of brothers to be his disciples, and then reading in Genesis 4 where Cain was tempted and eventually killed his brother, I couldn’t help but ask my two sons to also read Genesis 4 for comparison.

Since I usually take the boys to school on my way into the office each morning, it gave me a few minutes to draw my two sons’ attention to the comparison/contrast of Matthew 4 and Genesis 4 (the two temptations; the different sets of brothers; the two outcomes). It was one of the many happy Scripture reading “coincidences” one will come across during the regular reading of Scripture. I took just a minute this morning to let my sons know that it’s my hope and prayer for them that they follow Christ with their lives (like Peter and Andrew, and James and John in Matthew 4) so that they can experience the power of God’s grace in their relationships instead of ending up like the brothers in Genesis 4. Since sin is in pursuit of us just like it was pursuing Cain (God warned him), apart from walking with Christ (he overcame sin’s temptation for us) we will invariably and inevitably “kill” our relationships of the closest kind.

Read some Scripture today. The Bible may not yield profound insights each time you read it, but if you don’t keep at it it never will.

(ps: if you want to follow the Bible reading program my family and I are on this year, you can find it here)

After watching the video below, my 12 year old son said, “Wow, we’re really small.” Got that right. Since many people take this time of year to evaluate and assess their life, one good exercise for this (or at any time of year!) would be to watch this and then read Psalm 8, 19, and 139. What an enormous privilege God has given us to have a small part in His great plan of creation and redemption! Let’s not get stuck on ourselves; there’s a much bigger story playing out in history, and God is calling us to willingly and joyfully cooperate with Him in it. Are you? Will you?

Earlier today I sent out the the following message as an E-newsletter for Grace Harbor. It’s a thought I put together as a meditation as Christmas approaches. I hope it will help you keep the larger story of the Gospel (all that God is for us in Christ) in perspective.

The triumph of joy in Christmas is the Gospel irony that the entry of Jesus’ life via His rough wooden manger leads to the exit of Jesus’ life via His rugged wooden cross. The two events go together, so let me encourage you: don’t waste your living room Christmas spectacle by not telling your family once again that both the manger and the cross came from that tree.

 

While it’s easy to sentimentalize Bethlehem, one cannot so easily sanitize Calvary. We don’t talk much about Jesus’ body covered in blood at birth, but the Bible shouts that His lifeblood shed at death is meant to cover us. Where Jesus’ birth speaks to His humanity, Jesus’ cross speaks to His humility; where His crib reveals His sinlessness, His cross reveals our sinfulness. The two events go together, so don’t waste the beauty of Bethlehem by not telling your family once again that without the gory grace of Golgotha Christmas means nothing.

 

Christian Scripture puts Jesus life and death together in a hymn, a poetic emphasis intended to make us sing at the glory of it all. Part of the hymn from Philippians 2:6-11 goes like this, “Jesus made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Jesus and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

 

Wonder with me at Jesus’ crib; worship with me at Jesus’ cross.

 

Jon Hagen

 

The media circus surrounding Tiger Woods and his unidentified “transgressions” is a show that won’t stop. For a healthy way to think about all of this, and what it might have to do with you, check out C.J. Mahaney’s comments:

Hunted by the Media

As expected, the allegations of adultery involving a public figure are attracting a media pile-on. This is a big story with a big audience and it’s a story that will not disappear soon. Tiger Woods is being hunted by the media.

But let us make sure we do not join the hunt. A Christian’s response to this story should be distinctly different. We should not be entertained by the news. We should not have a morbid interest in all the details. We should be saddened and sobered. We should pray for this man and even more for his wife.

And we can be sure that in the coming days we will be in conversations with friends and family where this topic will emerge. And when it does, we can avoid simply listening to the latest details and speculations, and avoid speaking self-righteously, but instead we can humbly draw attention to the grace of God in the gospel.

Hunted by Sin

But Tiger is being hunted by something more menacing than journalists. Tiger’s real enemy is his sin, and that’s an enemy much more difficult to discern and one that can’t be managed in our own strength. It’s an enemy that never sleeps.

Let me explain.

Read all of C.J.’s comments here.